Have you ever felt that tug, you know the one, where you felt like it was time to move on but you weren’t sure where you were supposed to go to? I know I have and when the tug starts I get a restlessness and I know that God is getting ready to do something in my life. I loved being in ministry, I had been in ministry for over ten years when I felt the restlessness. I was burned out and knew it was time for a change. It wasn’t long before God opened a door. We had been through cancer with my husband and in 2016 we had lost my mom to thyroid cancer. Looking back, I think God was preparing me for what would be a roller coaster of a ride. He opened a door for me to work at the same place as my husband. I worked there for about a year when another door opened and I went to work for a lab. God was preparing me for ministry once more. In 2019 I went back to work at the church I had previously worked at and it was such a blessing. I thought I would be working out the rest of my work days at the church. Little did I know that life would be changing once again. Because of all the construction taking place on the island where I worked, it was getting difficult to make the trip 6 days a week. What used to be a 30 minute drive was turning into a nightmare of not knowing how long it would take to get to work. I was getting restless for sure but like I stated earlier, I hadn’t planned on moving again.
You know how we only see a portion of the picture, while God sees the big picture and He knows what is up ahead. No wonder He tells us not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough of its own worries. God knew there was a time coming in which I would need to be closer to home, closer to reaching my husband in minutes and not 45 minutes to an hour or more. He opened a door. This time I was going back to work in the same place I had worked at before which was where my husband worked. Before I knew it, God opened my eyes to see why He had brought me back to a place I never thought I would work at again. At first my husband needed to have gall bladder surgery. Then after two years of not getting COVID, our whole family came down with it. Praise God we only had minor symptoms and we were able to quarantine together at home. The time was coming when my husband would need me to be seconds away as opposed to the long drive across the causeway.
My husband has graciously allowed me to share his story. You see, in the fall of 2022 my husband had a major meltdown at work and had to be hospitalized for a season. It was without a doubt one of the hardest times for not only him but for all of us. He was out of state and the only way to communicate was via snail mail and the occasional calls. I grew to dread the calls because honestly, they weren’t pleasant. He begged me to let him come home because the place he was at wasn’t quite what we thought it would be. We thought it was a faith based place and it was but it wasn’t. Yes, it was what he needed at the time but it was hard. I had to be the tough one and say “no” every time he asked me to bring him home. I received his letters out of the order he had written them but not out of the order God intended them to arrive. Twenty-one days and let me tell you they were a long twenty-one days.
Some of the letters reflected the negatives and others were a little more upbeat and hopeful. Whew the negative letters-well it definitely wasn’t my husband. He did meet some Christians there also needing to get help and they sort of hung out together when possible. There were church services on Wednesdays & Sunday afternoons and a few people did attend. On one such occasion my husband witnessed someone accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior. He witnessed another rededicating their life to Christ. He was able to share a Bible study and had someone asking him to teach them how to read the Bible. But still it was hard being apart.
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.
Psalm 118:17
My husband’s life verse Psalm 118:17 –
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10b
My life verse Nehemiah 8:10b
“For where His joy is there my strength lies and my sorrows are no more. You can’t have sorrow when you have His joy for sorrow can’t exist next to His joy.“
Jean Marie
Maybe you have a similar story whether you or someone you know. I would encourage you not to give up. As a caregiver it is probably the hardest job in the world when it is someone you love. As the one who needs a caregiver, it is the hardest thing to let go and let someone else help you. Especially when you can still function on your own for the most part. There is help out there for you both whether through seeking professional assistance or through (and to me the best and most effective help) prayer warriors and your church family. Maybe you don’t have a church family or people to pray for you. I can say this if there is one person in your life who is a Christian, trust me, they are praying for you. I am a living testimony to that. I had family praying for me after I left home and I never knew it until years later after I reconnected with my faith.
Blog With Marie 